Chris asks…
I need advice on how to handle teenagers, relationships between parents and kids.?
My friend and i are working together to come up with a speech about parental-teenager relationships.
Lukes Love Life answers:
I don’t know exactly what you want to know but if you contact me then perhaps I can help….I have eight kids three of whom are teenagers and another two nearly there.
William asks…
relationship advice??? teenagers?
hi! im 14, a guy ( or sheep, im not sure ) and i need help! i have a WONDERFULL girlfriend. shes smart, pretty, funny, and a GREAT kisser. the only thing is, i dont know what she sees in me. i am tall (5, 9) , thick brown hair, im very slightly overwieght, but i dont think it shows. aparrently, im a really nice, funny, caring asshole. thats what my GF says! lol. but istill dont know why she likes me, because it DEFINITLY aint my looks. any ideas, people? ( or sheep )
Lukes Love Life answers:
You need to follow your heart.
Nancy asks…
Can yahoo answers please make a category just for parents asking other parents advice about teenagers?
yahoo answers has all these categories in the family and relationships. but just make one that is labeled teens,age 13 -17.
Before they turn 18 and become an adult. These children have all these expectations of adulthood. And really need to stay young as long as they can.
Lukes Love Life answers:
There’s a family section, you could probably use that one for now.
Ken asks…
Why do teeenagers tend to behave this way in regards to relationships?
I frequently offer advice on this “expert” advice website, and my father is a former high school counselor. We’ve both noticed a tendency among teenagers who ask for relationship advice: Being that they are inexperienced, teenagers often make mistakes, which is perfectly fine and natural. However, their questions in regards to the mistakes are often about how to “make” the other person change their feelings. We often hear questions like:
“How do I get him/her to like/forgive me?”
“How do I fix it so s/he knows I won’t do it again?”
“How do I get him/her to come back to me”
“How do I get him/her to give me a second chance?”
We often become frustrated because no matter how we try to convey that you can’t “make” a person feel one way or another, they rarely seem to agree or understand.
So my question is, why is this? And also, is there anyway to make this concept more comprehensible to teenagers?
While I realize experience is the best teacher, this is essentially my “job”, so leaving it up to experience isn’t an option. My job is to give advice. So assuming, you had to give some advice to someone asking these kinds of questions, what would you say?
Lukes Love Life answers:
STEP ONE
As easy as this sounds, they need to turn their question into a statement and practice saying it.
As adults it looks to us like they know the answer, but they are so involved that they are lucky even knowing the question !
“How do I get him/her to like/forgive me?”
Say to the person ” please forgive me?”
“How do I fix it so s/he knows I won’t do it again?”
Say to the person ” please know I won’t do it again.”
“How do I get him/her to come back to me”
Say to the person ” please come back to me”
“How do I get him/her to give me a second chance?”
Say to the person ” please give me a second chance.”
STEP TWO
Coaching in realizing that asking the question or making the statement is a positive, life-affirming action.
HOWEVER
Asking the question gives the person they are asking the right to answer either way. That asking means being 100% open to the answer.
When is a question not a question? When you only want to hear ONE of the two possible answers.
So, “Are you ready for either answer? Or, is this a way to ‘pressure’ someone to do only what you want?”
STEP THREE
Support for the person when the answer isn’t what they hoped for.
Michael asks…
If you could give advice to a teenager who is new to relationships, what would you say?
Lukes Love Life answers:
Don’t take it seriously and enjoy the lack of commitment while it lasts.
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