Jenny asks…
Question for “masculine” men interested in/dating other “masculine” men?
Alright, so I’m a fanfiction writer, and I’ve got an idea to write a story where the main character is gay. This really isn’t an original idea, but it just will not leave me alone.
I’ve never seen two ‘masculine’ gay guys in person though (you know, like in a relationship?), so it’s hard for me to imagine some of what I’m writing. I found a blog detailing how to write gay characters by a lesbian, but I was hoping for insight straight from the source. (Ha-ha, straight.)
I figure you generally don’t think of it in terms of who’s the woman and who’s the man, she mentioned gender dynamics too. But:
Walking down the street, would you reach out to hold your boyfriend’s hand?
Would you put your arm around him? Would HE put his arm around YOU?
If the two of you were watching a movie at home, do you snuggle? In what way?
At the end of a first date, which one of you would initiate the kiss goodnight?
These aren’t meant to offend anyone in the least. If you feel uncomfortable with my questions, I apologize, that’s not my aim.
Lukes Love Life answers:
The funny part was that unless we informed someone, they never had a clue. And, in all actuality, you probably have seen two masculine gay males that were in a relationship together, you just didn’t know it.
Aside from one, very laughable moment, our PDA’s were usually mistaken for the sort of contact that you’d expect two very close friends of the same gender to have. Only we comprehended the implied intimacy in the contact. What was strange was that without ever discussing it, we both automatically disguised our PDA’s that way.
Both of us being versatile, that was sorted out usually by whoever initiated the action. As to how we handled the house, that fell to who was better at what. I was better at cooking, he was better at cleaning, he was better with finances, I was better at mechanical things, he was the better pilot, I was a better navigator.
Watching a movie, or television, at home, it was more along the lines of spooning on the couch. Generally with him behind me, because I go through beer faster.
The best way I can describe it, is for you to think about the way you and your closest friend behave around eachother. We’d steal food off eachother’s plate, ignore personal space, share a water bottle, etc.
Basically, the only thing that doesn’t qualify it as a bromance is the sexual aspect of it, which we neither went out of our way to hide, nor advertised in places we felt to be inappropriate, save the one laughable PDA. (Always make sure you’re really alone when you think you are.)
As to the kiss goodnight on the first date, initiation seems to fall to the person that first asks “So when can I see you again?”
And no. You’re not being offensive. You’ve asked delicate questions in a polite fashion. I’ll give you the stock answer I had when I worked as a cashier at a dunking booth in college. “We aim to please, your aim helps.”
D
Betty asks…
Why Do People Get Mad At Those Who Do Not Want Marriage?
Especially WOMEN.There quiuk to point out that a mans “Affraid” of commitment to a woman. Have you thought 1) a mans really affraid of a womans commitment to a man or 2) he just simply dont want it,whats wrong with that?
I dont want any serious relationships and Im honest about it with every girl I see.Im not a negative person,just a realistic one.most relationship fail: 50% marraiges fail.In the other 1/2, 2/3 are unhappy but stay for children or finances or are cheating and being fake.
You can say no girl would want me thinking like this but your wrong cause I date regularly and have girls always wanting something more and those that wouldnt want me for thinking my way,well thats exactly what I want.
My friend and his wife get mad at me for speaking like this but my friend has cheated on his wife and paid for hookers and they have kids.How am I the bad one? Ive never cheated on a girl I cared for and now that I know I dont want anything serious,obviously I never could.
And why do people say stupid things like”Its just that you havnt met the right person?” I have been dumb enough to think this way when I was in love but I was smart enough to leave when something wasnt right no matter how painful.Even if your the excepton to the rule,the rule still stands
Read the 1st couple of paragraphs in this article:
http://relationships.blog-city.com/why_do_relationships_fail_and_what_to_do_about_it.htm
If people excepted this then maybe there wouldnt be so much pressure and then maybe more relationships would actually start to work out.
Opinions?
Lukes Love Life answers:
I’ll NEVER marry! Never!
Robert asks…
Why do i crave being submissive to men?? is this normal?
i am a 25 year old virgin single south east asian girl and whenever i masturbate or think of being with a man, i just want to be tied and taken. I have never had a date in my life..but i just cant stop myself from thinking that men are more superior than women and crave being helpless around my dream man. Do i need to see a doctor? I just hate it when men think of women as equals…we are not….please do not insult my sentiments,…if you are a feminist who think differently, please move on to another question….@!@
PS: I have also posted this question in family and relationships blog, as i want to get as many answers as possible….
Lukes Love Life answers:
A man has 2 feelings….hungry and horny. So if your not having sex with him….fix him a sandwich.
Ruth asks…
Dating Dillema! V. 2.0?
I just put up a blog on myspace. Basically saying I don’t want a relationship and what not.
But anyways, now I got asked out by someone and I really want to say yes. Yet i might look like a hypocrite. Yet lol, this girl and I have known eachother for a while so I guess it’s a pleasent suprise that came up.
I thought of waiting for a while. But I really get this feeling like if I do I won’t get this opportunity again. Plus she’s always been my friend and she is even my #1 person on myspace…whatever credit that amounts to lol
So…
Jump on the Opportunity or Let it walk away
Lukes Love Life answers:
That’s the way life works: when you don’t want or need a relationship, you seem to attract females. I don’t know if it is because you appear to not need them and are more confident, or if it’s just a cruel trick of fate, but that’s how it is.
You ever notice when you are in a relationship, the same thing happens, but when you get your heart stomped on and your self-confidence is shakey while you try to figure out how you misjudged that person, you seem to be wearing female repellent? And that just makes it worse?
Good luck, I think you just have to go in with your eyes wide-open and try to pay attention and see the other person clearly. If she turns out to not be somebody you want to spend a lot of time with, get out before she makes you undateable for a long time by slaming your heart to the curb. Watch, pay attention.
James asks…
my boyfriend started dating a girl behind my back?
ok, so for about a month, i was going crazy from not hearing from my boyfriend who always tried to call at least once a week, but usually did more. The last time he called he said something about having a job and not being able to call as often. Well, no matter what he always called once a week. So, yesterday I am doing all kinds of searching for ways to contact him and i check out his myspace page. he has a blog entry talking about he Just got out of a relationship and how he found this girl who showed him what love really is compared to me, though he didn’t use my name or anything. i went dumb and my heart just stopped beating for a few seconds as all this sank in. Now, he wasn’t the greatest man to begin with, he had his flaws being jobless and homeless are two good starts, but this was way out of his character. I am still trying to recover from the shock, the thing is, he is my first relationship and i need some help and advice on how to get through this. if he had called me or something and explained all of this to me, i would not be in the mess i am in, but he was a coward and just did this behind my back without even breaking up with me first. i am so confused and upset and going crazy trying to make sense of this.
we were together for over a year I would have thought that he would have known by now he could openly communicate anything with me
Lukes Love Life answers:
Dump him.
He’s cheating on you and clearly doesn’t respect you.
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