Your Questions About Online Relationship Therapy

How should I handle my online affair?

My husband and I have grown apart. We don’t spend that much time together. About 4 years ago I started to play around on 360 and became obsessed with the website. I could disappear into this fantasy life. I know I am missing something in my life and my marriage, so I retreated to 360 to get the attention I CRAVED. Since I am ashamed of the weight I have gained I used someone else’s pictures that I found on Webshots. This lady is Beautiful and sexy…just the way that I want to be. I found that I received a lot of attention by doing this. I felt wanted and sexy. I know it is warped. The comments and attention were not for ME but for this beautiful woman whose pictures that I stole. I have had several online relationships that fizzled out, but I found a man about 6 months ago that I have fallen in love with. I didn’t expect it to go as far as it has gone. We chat, we text, we talk on the phone. Both of us are married. He does not know that my pictures are of another woman. I have been afraid of telling him the truth. One lie seems to lead to another lie. I am buried in lies. He tells me he loves me for what is inside…..but I know a big part of it is the attraction to the “fake pictures”. It’s a mess! He is coming here in January……he wants to meet me. I can’t seem to to get up the nerve to stop him or tell him the truth. I keep thinking up excuses to not meet him……..like being on a trip. I honestly care for this man. He has been a huge support to me and he has made me happy . I have been honest with him in regards to my life. What I tell him about me and my life is true. He would NOT be interested in me if he knew I was overweight! He would be gone in a heartbeat. I know what we are doing is wrong. I know I am leading him on. I know I am using him to make me feel better. It’s not fair to either of us. I do get jealous because he is still sleeping with his wife. WTF? You would think if he was still sexual with his wife he would not need me. He is older than me…..so maybe he likes the idea that a younger woman is attracted to him. It’s very confusing. While he makes me happy……I know it’s wrong and it hurts to know that I will never be able to meet him. I know I need to do the right thing and break this off, but I don’t know if I can handle it emotionally. I plan on going to therapy and try to work through this. I need to get my life and my marriage back on track. I feel so lost and confused. I am ashamed of what I am doing. Has anyone been in this situation? How would you handle it? How should I end it? SHould I be truthful with him?
I really do appreciate all the answers all of you have given to me. I know everyone is right. I should be honest and end this.
I don’t appreciate the “weight” jokes. You have NO idea what it’s like to be overweight!!! I am not a bad looking person. I have dealt with depression over the last several years and have gained weight because of it. Do NOT judge someone if you have never been in that situation!! Yes, I work out at a gym. I have been trying to lose the weight…unsuccessfully! And YES i can walk thru the damn door! I simply escaped my world for a fantasy life. and YES this guy is real. I have seen him on cam. I know where he works..have his work email and phone. He is very real. I am being 100% honest here..pouring out my feelings and I don’t appreciate being bashed for that.

can anyone recommend a good online sex therapist?

I have been in a realtionship now for 7 years but have problems when in comes to the sexual side of the relationship due to abuse issues from when i was younger. my partner is aware of my history but sees it as rejection when i have problems being physically close. I have had psychotherapy in the past but have never been able to cover this subject as i find it too embarrasing face to face. Any suggstions about online therapy will be greatly appreciated please x

My friend is starting therapy for some problems with his relationship and with sex?

My good friend (who is a guy) recently got engaged to his girlfriend of 5 years. He just told me the other day that he now isn’t certain if they are compatible because she has a very low sex drive and his is very high, and even when they do have sex, it’s not that good. They have decided to go to couples therapy to seek some help and find out if they are going to succeed in marriage or not. He also revealed to me that he turns to online sex quite frequently and he thinks it may be a problem for him. His fiancee is not aware of this and he is nervous about this coming out during therapy. But he understands that is what they are going to therapy for, to get it all out on the table now rather than after they get married. They get along very well otherwise, but mainly it’s because she is so accommodating to him. I’m concerned for him. He spends a great deal of time on the internet on sex chat sites when she’s not around. He also revealed that sometimes it has lead to meeting up with women he’s met online, which is risky behavior. I want him to be happy, especially down the road. Something tells me he’s deep down not happy in his relationship with her and its causing his problem with sex to be bigger. Will therapy help him? Is there a chance they may not get married after all, or come out of it stronger? I’m really worried for him. By the way, he’s a wonderful guy, has a great career, and is a loyal friend. He’s not some scum bag. In fact, to meet him, one would be shocked to know his problem. I know I was!

Discovered Fiance has been having a Internet Affair Online for over 1 year. Would you end the Engagement?

My girlfriend And I are Engaged. We have no set wedding date, but over the past few months, I have been doing some serious re-considering about this wedding. Between the time we got engaged last fall and now, around Christmas Time, I discovered she had been having an ” Online Fling” or ” Emotional Relationship” With another man for over a year!!!!!. They never met in person. But I by mistake was able to pull up all of their conversations on the Computer. He would tell her on a regular basis, that she needed to leave me? Because Of my Race! I’m Mixed Blk / White. She is white. He would Tell her i was a loser, and tell her things like ” She might need to get checked for HIV cause a lot of blacks have aids”… The most vile Racist things. And To this day, I’m beyond frightened by this, because she and I have 2 kids. So Her kids are 1/4 African’ being I’m 1/2. So In his insults, he was directly insulting her Sons with me. And when he would make these hyper racist statements, she would ” lol” and usually say things like ” He doesn’t have any diseases”. I never once read where she would say to him something like ” That’s crossing the line ” or anything like that..

When I confronted her, She refused to admit she did anything wrong. She said she thought he was just ” joking ” about the racist comments. I told her I was very disappointed in her, not for not standing up for me, but for not putting her foot down, because in him insulting me with his racist statements, he was also insulting our kids. She turned around and said this was my fault, because I’m at work so much, and leave her alone all the time. She said if I did not leave her to work so much, she would have never spent as much time with him as she did. I demanded she and I go get some relationship therapy. To figure out the Root of all of this. She refuses to go. I don’t know if it’s out of shame she won’t go, or because she can’t handle whenever someone tells her that she’s wrong.. Whenever anyone tells her that she’s wrong, she can’t handle it. It’s like she explodes. This problem has followed her threw life. Even her Career. She always gets fired because of this issue. Even when we first started dating, her mother pulled me aside and told me about her ” Stubborn ness” What should I do? i don’t know if I can spend the rest of my life with her. Especially if she won’t get any help? Would you leave someone if you were in my shoes?

Trouble to express show feelings emotions what to do(tried therapy)?

This is silly?but its real problem.My partner is mid 30s single dr.Hes family friend from decades,best friend in love for years in long distance online relationship.I want attention its silly as he talks acts comes goes as he wishes being busy at.Hes met all my family,works with my relative & asks his friends to keep an eye on me.Im in mid 20s going to be dr soon.He’d rather talk act as he wishes when we are free to which i get upset.We have 9yr age difference hes my first bf.We never act talk as we are in love.Hes got power rich no family only friends not used to show express his feelings.He loves me very much as we have been through everything together my ops his life etc.His experience vs my innocent inexperience!This man is good busy with work.Like other day i called up his work after got his number just to surprise him.I need his attention.I am not possessive controlling but once awhile need romance.Advice bf mid 30s dr can express show feelings.No break-up tried therapy.
We are best friends in love very good intimacy just that romance is missing in expressing showing emotions feelings!