Your Questions About Relationship Problem Advice Depression

Advice on relationship problems?

My fiance is very sensitive and gets upset easily. Little things will send him to extreme anger or depression very quickly. I don’t get upset as easily and have a bounce back time of like a minute then I’m over it. It takes him a long time to get over stuff and he constantly says that he’s going to go stay at his parents for the night even though he never does. The biggest problem is that when he gets upset he completely shuts down and won’t say anything to me and usually I have absolutely no clue why he is upset. Our therapist that we used to see told him to just tell me what was wrong and then we would talk about it later when he calmed down but he rarely does that. We can’t afford to see our therapist right now and I don’t know what to do. I feel like everything I say or do upsets him in some way and that I am always apologizing for stuff even if it was something little that I don’t think he should’ve gotten upset about. I pretty much apologize regardless just so that we can get past whatever it is and be happy again. I’ve been in therapy on and off for 13 years so I am good at handling stresses and stuff like that and when I try to help him handle something it never seems to work. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I really need some advice.

Thanks
Other than this we have the best relationship in the world. We love each other more than anyone ever lol. He does respect me, more than anyone ever has. He just completely shuts down when he gets upset because that’s what he grew up with. When his dad would get upset, he would shut down and sleep on the couch. It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk about stuff, it’s just he wants to wait until he’s calmed down, which is fine, but I go crazy trying to figure out what I said to upset him. I think he has mild depression (I have it so I have a pretty good idea what it looks like) and we were both just raised so differently. I just don’t know what to do about helping him not get so upset about miniscule things that most people wouldn’t get upset about. We’ll be joking around and he’ll take something to heart and get upset about it. I just don’t know what to do.
The problem with going and doing my own thing is then if he comes looking for me or something he thinks I’m ignoring him. And I know it’s not always my fault and I shouldn’t always have to apologize. But in a way it is my fault because something I say sets him off and I probably shouldn’t have said it. I just tell him that I’m sorry for saying X,Y, or Z and that I didn’t mean it to upset him. Once we talk we are fine but it’s somewhat torturous to sit and wait for him to be better and try to figure out what I did to upset him.
Leaving him will never happen. We’re soul mates. No matter what we’ll always work through it. I just want to help him so that we won’t have disagreements as much.

Cutting, Depression, and relationships. Any advice??

For the past two maybe three years I’ve been really depressed. Long story short I started self harming and I seriously regret it now. Well I met this great guy and we started dating a few months later. Since we got together I haven’t felt the need to cut, at all. But about two or three months ago he moved really far away. We’ve been trying to make it work but it’s gotten to the point where we’ll talk every night for a week, then I won’t hear from him for a week or two. During the school year we talked every night and the only time we didn’t talk to each other in some way was Friday and Saturday nights. So this summer has been really hard for both of us. The problem isn’t not talking to him for weeks at a time, I trust him, he trusts me, neither of us would ever cheat on the other, and I’m usually good at calming myself down and telling myself I’ll get to talk to him soon. The problem is I can go about a week without hearing from him before I start to miss him. Any longer than that and I start feeling really lonely and kinda helpless. I’ve never mentioned this to him because I don’t want him to think I need to see him everyday to be happy. I’m usually a really happy person, but when I start to realize that I don’t know when I’ll get to talk to him again it’s almost like I start hyproventalating and I can’t calm myself like I normally do. A few times it’s gotten so bad that I slipped up and cut again. I can’t stand feeling that weak and completely helpless but I know that’s not even close to being as bad as it would be if we broke up. I haven’t told him about the self harming either and I really don’t plan on it. It’s not like I depend on him for happiness, but I can’t stand missing him so much. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the pain/emotions that come from missing him like that? Should I tell him about the self harm and depression, or would that seem too needy? please help!

I don’t have long distance calling and my aunt (yea I live with my aunt) isn’t exactly happy about the relationship so he can’t call very often. Which pretty much limits us to IM and myspace.
(yes I asked this before but I only got two answers and I want to see if I can get any more advice)
Oh wow “you cutters”, “nothing will get to you”…That’s obviously not true.

Don’t answer if your going to criticize me for cutting. Or if your going to “warn” me aout the dangers….I already know how bad it is. And my boyfriend did not “leave me” he simply moved because his parents were and he didn’t have a choice.

relationship problem please help?

so i have asked for help before but no answer so im posting it again hoping someone with good relationship advice will answer!so there’s this guy that i think i might be in love with but he broke up with me the weirdest way my friends were wondering why he wasn’t sitting with me and i said it doesn’t matter so one of my friends went up to him and said why aren’t you sitting with your girl friend and he said shes not my girlfriend and that just broke my heart but i still love him i have been in such a deep depression my friends say that i haven’t been acting the same way that iv been just staring at nothing while eating not being very social DO YOU THINK YOU COULD HELP ME!

I need relationship advice. I hacked into her new email address and found…(PLEASE read, i need all your help?

I got Engaged this past July-2009 after 4.5 years with my girl because I finally felt she was ready (im 27 she is 24)!
I love her and have spent the last 4.5 years helping her fight her problems (depression and previous drug addiction, very abusive childhood), till last month when she left the house to get Pilled up with her stepmom (also has mental problems and xanex addiction).

I broke the engagement last month afterward (wasnt the 1st time she got drugged up & i told her 1more time and its over). BUT for the 1st time I realiazed she had a Mental problem (really)… So for the last almost 2months I tried everything and devoted my entire body/soul/mind to help her (and us) get through this,,, got her on meds, found a therapist for her to talk to, and even tried introducing God in her life (im christian she has catholic background).

Last week i noticed i was the only one trying, and when I sat her down and asked, she said straight up nothing was working and she had NO desire to continue therapy, meds, OR Church..

I also noticed she created a new email 3weeks after I broke the engagement (we still live 2gether and I was trying everything in my Power to help). she said is was to communicate with family

Today she has been out of the house with her stepmom for alittle over a week…
I Hacked into her email and found she has been communicating with her Ex in another State saying she loves him more than she has Ever loved any1 else and All this other stuff…

Also noticed she met a random guy at the washeteria bcuz she gave him that email and it looked like they both were trying to hook up ……

Her stuff is still at the house and all packed and ready for her, she has put off coming to get her stuff… What do I do, She still calls and says she loves me, and cant believe this is happening, and totally is hiding these men…

What do I do? I hacked in her email and I know that isnt right, ,,, sheould I call her out, … I cant bare the tought of her with another man…. 4.5 years is a long time…

(btw, I want to mention, I NEVER had a problem with her and other men… 2the best of my knowledge im 99% sure she remainded Loyal and true to me)

I thought we were still trying to work things out, …I guess this is like cheating ?

HELP PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP i need all of your opinions Im hurting really bad
Thank you So much for your replies. My problem is Im just too nice to her… She fell on my lap heading straight toward the grave (quick)…with drugs & alcohol… I got her out of the enviroment and she CHANGED,,, showed me the beautiful side of her that is deeply protected.
Im not insecure, and Im really good looking, I just fell in Love what can I say?

DO i mention what I read in her Emails ?
4got to mention,,,, this encounter with the guy at the washeteria happened Sunday… and as far as I can read, they were to hook up Yesterday…
So this is All happening and being found out by me Now (this morning)…
Thank you Again Every1,,, All of you responses helped me in 1way or another, Thank you
(stillheartbroken)
I got all her stuff out, and delivered it over to her stepmoms where she was staying…(she had been gone from there for 2days, no calls) …
Man that was Hard…this suks

Relationship problem. Am I being obsessive?

I’m a 26 year old male and I’ve been going out with an amazing girl for 4 months, i’ve known her for 6. For the first 3 months everything was absolutely fantastic. We were going out having fun, and genuinely looking forward to seeing each other. We both changed our facebook profile pictures to a picture of each other and always used to write how we were looking forward to seeing each other.

The last 2 months I have fallen into a cycle of depression. Through various problems ranging from money worries to stress at work. I also cracked my ribs and have been finding it hard to sleep lately. I’ve been arguing a lot with my g/f and i think the above is a contributing factor. She loves to party and go clubbing a lot with her friends. I have no problem with this but I worry a lot when she goes out as there are a lot of idiots out there, and also I don’t get to see her for very long. It almost feels like she squeezes me in when she’s not busy. We have argued about this because she wants her own life with her friends. There are other things we row about too.

I’m also very very insecure and I don’t know how to change that. I’m constantly wanting to feel wanted by her but she doesn’t express herself in the way I’d like her to. I tell her all the time I miss her and can’t wait to see her, but she rarely does this in return. She’s also changed her facebook profile picture to one of her and her friend. Subconsciously I think she’s done this because she’s not happy with me and has gone a little frosty too. I overreacted a little when she changed it, and said it was a symbol of our relationship and how we feel about each other but she just said “its only a picture”.

I’ve been very down lately as I detailed about, and I’ve been diagnosed as having mild depression when I went to the doctors about it. I had a breakdown at work where I just started crying and couldn’t stop. I went to the docs who diagnosed the above. She’s given me some paper exercises to challenge my negative thought patterns and change that into a positive way, but to be honest I’m not sure how to. I understand the reasoning behind this but I can’t manifest it in such a way that it helps me.

We’re going on holiday next weekend for 3 days and I know we’ll be ok on the holiday. We are so happy when together but seemingly not when we’re apart. It would break my heart if we broke up but I keep telling myself things can’t continue like this to be a healthy relationship. If anybody could offer some help or advice i’d be so grateful.

Thanks